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 The Discoveries 
The following is one in an ongoing series of columns entitled Conscious Relationship Coach by . View all columns in series
The seven discoveries that show you how to create lasting love in your life.

The First Discovery
Although women and men may seem on the surface to be from different planets, we are all absolutely the same at deeper levels. At the soul-level, we are seamlessly connected to each other. Heart-resonance and soul-connection transcend physical distance.

The Second Discovery
Relationship itself is the ultimate spiritual path. Relationship interactions show us what we most need to learn for our spiritual growth to become real. Without a commitment to learning from each relationship moment, years of meditation or therapy make no real difference in well-being.

The Third Discovery
All of us have two deep relationship needs: Closeness with others and space for individual growth. Most of us feel fears of getting close and fears of genuine independence. If you know how to use your organic body-wisdom-breathing, conscious movement, awareness-you can dissolve your fears of closeness and independence with remarkable ease. Fear is merely excitement minus the breath--we're all only a breath away from turning the fear of losing ourselves into the excitement of union with others and the universe.

The Fourth Discovery
Commitment opens the field of possibility in which miraculous relationship transformations can occur. There is no substitute for total commitment. 99% commitment is the same as 1% or 0%. The moment we make a full commitment, the magic of possibility replaces indecision, confusion and resistance.

The Fifth Discovery
Most of us have been taught a ruinous lie: That truth hurts and we must lie to survive. In working with 20,000 people over the past thirty years, we discovered something very different: Truth heals, lies hurt. Hiding feelings or deeds destroys soul-growth in relationship. Speaking authentically, with no blame, restores the flow of loving connection. We have found no exceptions.

The Sixth Discovery
Blame destroys relationship, responsibility heals it. Thinking of ourselves as victims turns a relationship into an entanglement. Taking ownership-asking "How did I contribute to making this happen?" instead of "Who's to blame for this?"-restores a flow of connection.

The Seventh Discovery
Essence-who we truly are-blossoms in an atmosphere of authenticity and appreciation. When you are honest with yourself and others, you create a field of clarity and safety around you wherever you go. When you love yourself deeply, you open a deeper capacity to love others. When two or more people link up in an atmosphere of authenticity and love, a field of boundless creative possibility comes into being.

Find out about the Attracting Genuine Love course.

© 2001-2002 The Hendricks Institute. All Rights Reserved.

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 About The Author
Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., is the author and co-author of twenty-five books in conscious relationship, conscious business and bodymind transformation. Included are such enduring bestsellers as CONSCIOUS LOVING, THE......moreGay&Kathlyn Hendricks
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